Did you know that you can make yourself more attractive, respected, and convincing by just changing your body language? Today, I’m sharing how you can do this by mastering an alpha male body language that commands respect and builds authority.
I know this sounds weird as hell, but trust me when I say that your body language is very important. Soon you’ll discover why.
In this article, you’ll also learn more specific tips, how to execute them properly, and some video examples about the alpha male body language, displayed by true alpha males such as James Bond.
In my opinion, this is self-development at its finest. Improving the quality of your life by practicing things that are often underrated compared to their effectiveness. With a fairly small amount of effort, you can achieve something that will benefit you for the rest of your life!
What is alpha male body language?
Alpha male body language is a form of non-verbal communication, that displays a high value, confidence, and other alpha traits using your body language.
It includes gestures, facial expressions, and movements that are calm, determined, and strong. Anything that non-verbally displays that you’re an alpha male.
When you improve your mentality towards becoming an alpha, your body language will naturally follow. However, it’s also important to be aware of what kind of body language you and people around are displaying, and how to use the alpha male body language to your advantage.
Why good body language is so important? The 7-38-55 rule
Albert Mehrabian, a professor Emeritus of Psychology, has stated that only 7% of face-to-face communication is carried out with spoken words. Your vocal tonality carries 38%, and the winner with 55% is your body language.
This means that your body language plays a huge role in determining how other people see you. If you master yours, more than half of the work to improve your interactions is already done!
Think about the last time you got rejected or someone didn’t agree with what you said. It’s possible that the reason for it was your body language that signaled insecurity and stress.
I’ve noticed that people pay attention to your body language and make decisions based on that. Often, they do it without knowing it!
Note: This is a very powerful technique, but it won’t be effective if your mind doesn’t cooperate. This means that faking an alpha male body language is a terrible idea.
If you only focus on your body language without improving your mindset, other people will sense that. Remember to take care of the core fundamentals, so improving your body language will be effective and natural.
With all this said, let’s start by learning what you should and shouldn’t do with your body language.
How to use alpha male body language to your advantage
Things to do
Pick a good position
To display a powerful, alpha male body language, you have to be comfortable and position yourself well. Comfortable means that you’re relaxed and take enough space wherever you are.
Position yourself in a way that makes it easy to show up for everyone and not being out of a group. When standing, be sure to be a part of a circle, etc. When sitting, make sure to pick a seat in a position, where it’s easy to talk to everyone.
There are lots of different venues and therefore lots of different opportunities. When in a bar, don’t shrink yourself into a corner table. Take your group to the center where it’s easy to meet new people and access different places like the dancefloor.
Do you see the point here? Take your space and don’t be afraid to show that you’re there! This kind of body language displays confidence and high value.
One of the greatest factors in your alpha male body language is being open. This means letting your limbs be spread apart from each other and not covering your torso.
When sitting, don’t be afraid to spread your legs. Not too much, but enough to be very comfortable in your seat. If you overdo it, people may think that you want to introduce your you know what, but I guess you got the point.
Don’t cross your arms or shove both of your hands in your pockets. Let them be open and keep your elbows apart. Needless to say, keep a good posture also.
An open alpha male body language displays that you’re confident, and not afraid to make your presence apparent. Being open also makes you more comfortable, which leads me to my next point.
Stay comfortable and grounded
If you make yourself comfortable wherever you are, you’ll naturally display good body language. Use the tips you learned before, pick a good position, and take up your space. Making yourself comfortable isn’t that hard.
Now you’re both displaying good body language and actually being comfortable. Pretty good situation. Doing this makes the next step easier, which is being grounded.
Being grounded means staying comfortable in the same place and making it like a “home base”. When you’re there, you don’t need anything else. Don’t bounce around taking laps or trying to find a new good spot to look like you’re doing something.
Just stay grounded. Spark a nice conversation with your friends, or just take a nice position and enjoy your time there with your alpha male body language. When you move, you should have a destination. Don’t wander around like an insecure guy seeking attention.
When other people see that you’re having a great time, chances are that they’ll join you and you become the center of attention. Rather than chasing good interactions, make one happen wherever you are and enjoy it.
Keep your body language strong
A strong body language is very simple. With whatever you do, you should signal confidence and authority. Do not be easily affected by external factors.
When someone makes an eye-contact with you, don’t avoid it. Just keep your eyes on wherever works best for you. Remember to maintain good eye contact with anyone you’re talking to. This makes you instantly look more confident and commands respect. Just don’t stare them dead all the time.
If someone verbally challenges you, keep a good posture and don’t back away. Unless they become aggressive which rarely happens.
Here’s another good rule of thumb. When entering a room, walking to a bar, or anything, imagine that you own the place. Make your presence apparent and don’t be afraid to show that you’re there.
Things you shouldn't do
You shouldn’t do anything useless with your hands, feet, or any part of your body. When you constantly mess around, you’ll look both insecure and nervous, and people may even find it annoying.
Here’s a quick list of things you shouldn’t do.
- Snap your fingers or anything like that.
- Constantly fix your hair or scratch your nose etc.
- Change your position every 15 seconds.
- Keep looking around
Do you see the point here? Don’t do anything useless. It’s natural to show this kind of sign especially when in a stressful situation, but always remain calm.
Believe it or not, other people can see your insecurity if you do these things. That’s why it’s important to learn to stay unreactive under pressure. It’s ok to feel stressed, but don’t let it affect your presence.
Whatever you do, don’t make yourself shrink away. This can be anything as simple as backing away when someone talks to you. Also, one common example is to sit in a position where you lean forward and watch down.
This is the exact opposite of being open, but I added it here because it’s so important. I remember when I was at a club with my friend and some dudes next to us were doing exactly this. They were all staring at their phones, leaning forward in a ball-shaped position.
Don’t do that! It makes you look weak and insecure. Don’t shrink away.
Avoiding eye contact
Did you know that people trust you way more when you look at them in the eyes? Trust and many other benefits are something that you can increase by having good eye contact.
Mistakes that people often do are as simple as avoiding eye contact when someone watches them or breaking it in a stressful situation. This kind of behavior signals insecurity loud and clear.
Next time you’re in a stressful situation or having eye contact with a stranger, don’t break it. Maintain it and try to stay as calm as possible. It may feel hard first, but it gets easier.
This goes pretty much with everything you do. Don’t overdo or try too much.
Your body language should be open, but don’t go to a couch and lay down like a starfish. You’ll look like you’re way too drunk.
Good posture is always good, but don’t act like you’re in the military. you should display your alpha male body language naturally and above all, it should feel natural for you.
You don’t have to remember every single one of these tips. Just go out there, pay attention to your body language, and try out some of these tips.
I guess you got the point. Pay attention to what kind of body language you’re displaying because it carries out more than half of your communication, but don’t overdo it.
Alpha male body language example - The Wolf Of Wall Street
Watch the following video below, and see how many of the previous body language characteristics you can see. The scene is from the movie The Wolf Of Wall Street, where Jordan Belfort (Leonardo Di Caprio) meets a Swiss banker.
Pay attention to Jordan’s body language when they’re talking.
Let’s analyze Jordan’s alpha male body language real quick. Firstly, you probably noticed that he’s very comfortable in the chair where he’s sitting at. His conversation with the Swiss banker is stressful, but his body language still displays confidence and comfortability.
Secondly, he’s taking up space. He’s not afraid to put his elbows on the sides, although the chair is about twice as wide as him. Pay attention to his position also. He and the banker are both at the very center of all the attention when Jordan’s friends are more on the side, taking much less space.
Thirdly, he’s not afraid to maintain strong eye contact. Even when the conversation gets more stressful. He stays very unreactive and doesn’t mess around with his hands or anything.
Next time you’re at a party or other social situation where people are sitting, try out some traits that Jordan displayed in the scene. If someone comments on your appearance, just say that you’re feeling great and comfortable on your couch or wherever you are. Just remember to not overtry, or you’ll end up looking like a moron.
Alpha male body language in different situations
Now that you have a basic understanding of good body language, let’s dive into more specific examples. These examples tell you what kind of body language you should use in different situations.
When standing, keep your hands relaxed and natural. Just like you learned before, don’t do anything useless like snapping your fingers.
Don’t cross your arms because closed body language is not relaxed or confident. Putting your hands in your pockets will make you look nervous, but if you want to do that, you can leave your thumbs out. This is more of a position where your hands can rest.
Don’t overthink. Just be natural.
Needless to say, remember to have a good posture. Don’t overtry, unless you’re in the army, because it will make you look stupid and fake.
Just remember to keep your chin up and your eyes on the other people. Don’t stare on the ground or anything like that. A good posture isn’t any rocket science and I believe that you know what it is like.
A good, relaxed posture displays confidence and strength, and therefore it’s an important part of your alpha male body language.
Although you’re standing, you have to stay relaxed. There’s a difference between useless messing around and casually changing your position. You shouldn’t stand like a statue, because it’s both weird looking and exhausting for you.
Feel free to change your balance for another leg or make gestures with your hands when talking. More important than paying attention to every single detail of your body language is to be natural.
See how people in the previous photo are standing. They comply with the tips I share here but also look natural and relaxed. That’s how you should do too.
comfortable and grounded
When you’re sitting somewhere, let’s say in a bar, consider your spot like a “home base”. This home base is your spot, where you’re comfortable and don’t need anything else.
Firstly, pick a comfortable seat where you can take some space and relax. If you’ve paid attention earlier, you’ll also remember to pick a position where you can easily interact with others and so on.
Don’t pick a hard, small seat where you have to shrink to fit in. Pick something where you could potentially watch a two-hour movie. This will also make the other steps way easier.
Secondly, be grounded. Don’t bounce around like an insecure kid trying to find a place with the most attention. You got your friends, a comfortable seat, and possibly something to do right there. Even if you were alone there, make yourself comfortable and enjoy your alpha male body language. You don’t need anything from anyone.
I remember when I and my friend were in a bar. We made the mistake of always looking for a new spot with most people and attention. It was frustrating and unsuccessful.
However, when decided to pick a nice couch at the center of a club and just chilled there, having a great time, everything changed. When we were grounded in our “home base”, other people came near us and we could start to interact with them.
Try it yourself!
A good rule of thumb is that your elbows should be wide apart. This signals that you’re not afraid to take space and be open. When sitting you can put one elbow on the side of the chair etc. Maybe even both.
An important factor in alpha male body language is being open, and the distance between your elbows determines a big part of it. Especially when sitting.
Pretty much the same rule goes with your knees than your elbows. Keeping them apart makes you comfortable and open.
Don’t be afraid to do a little man spread or put your leg on top of the other. For examples about knees and elbows, feel free to review the picture above or the scene from The Wolf of Wall Street.
Also, one great thing to do is to put your ankle on top of your other thigh.
When sitting, leaning back is an important factor when considering good body language. People who lean back are naturally more open, relaxed, and comfortable. All these are traits of an alpha male body language.
Sure, when you have to talk to someone who’s far away or grab something from the table, lean forward. Leaning back isn’t always necessary, but I think you should do it as much as you can conveniently do. Again, be natural and don’t overthink.
When walking, you should follow the same kind of principles as when standing. Remember to keep your chin up and keep your look at your destination.
Don’t stare at the ground when walking. That makes you look weak and insecure. I know that it’s easier to see constantly where you’re stepping, but try to maintain a good posture and keep your chin up.
People who stare at the ground when walking look like they’re ashamed of themselves. I guess you can imagine what a typical “walk of shame” looks like. Don’t let that be you.
Have a destination
Do you remember when I talked about being grounded on your seat? What about when you have to move somewhere? No matter how grounded you are, you’ll have to change your location at some point.
When walking there, be sure to have a destination. Just like I said before, don’t bounce around or take laps. Determine where you want to go and go there. Don’t keep looking around and paying attention to every single detail that’s going on there.
Your own path is more important. Don’t let other events distract you unless something important happens.
Casual and unique
When walking, remember to keep it natural and casual. You can add some spice to it by putting your other hand in your pocket etc.
Have you seen how James Bond walks in his movies? He once in a while may fix his tie and his walk is both casual and unique.
Don’t put on a show, because you’re not a comedy character, but try to be casually sexy. When walking through a venue, imagine that you own the place. Or fix your jacket while walking like Bond.
Alpha male body language example - James Bond
Here’s a scene from the newest Bond movie, Spectre. Pay attention to Bond’s body language.
See how smoothly and casually James moves. He knows all the time where he’s going and he stays on his path without wasting energy on things around him.
When exiting the window, the traits of a strong, alpha male body language show up clearly. See how Bond keeps his chin up and has a clear destination.
He even has his unique gestures of fixing his suit every once in a while, but he still stays on his path.
Could you imagine James Bond walking around in a bar, desperately seeking attention? Or staring at the ground, avoiding eye contact, and looking anxious? Probably not.
Bond is a great example of how important your body language can be. I highly recommend watching more Bond movies!
There you have it. A post about alpha male body language and why it’s so important.
Believe me or not, these things really matter. I’ve seen benefits in my life when I’ve improved my body language and non-verbal communication.
When I started to pay attention to other people’s body language, I noticed that I ended up respecting them more, if they displayed these traits. And the opposite…
It’s quite interesting when you start to pay attention to people’s body language in different situations. I believe that all people do it and make decisions about others based on their non-verbal communication. Most of us just do it without realizing it.
Think about all the benefits you could possibly have if your body language was great. More success in dating, more respect from your friends, easier to make people agree with you… You name it!
But above all, your most important asset is your mentality, so be sure to maximize it too. A good body language isn’t effective if you fake it, but it’s a very effective technique if it’s authentic.
If you want a more specific guide on body language and more, I highly recommend to check out this book.
With that in said, I hope you enjoyed. Until next time!