Confidence is a very broad topic. Although mastering it requires work, there are different confidence building exercises that you can do to boost it. Today, I’m about to share five of them.
These five exercises are something that you can do almost anywhere, anytime. They’re fast and easy to execute.
On top of that, I’ve done my best to avoid all the generic advice like “focus on the positive” or “don’t listen to your negative beliefs”. All that’s true, but it’s not always that easy. If you’re very insecure, you just can’t change it like that.
All the exercises are something I’ve personally tried and consider effective enough to deserve a spot in this article. So, let’s get started.
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1. Positive brainstorm
This exercise is as simple as writing down ten (or more) things that you absolutely love about yourself. Just pick a pen and a piece of paper, brainstorm those ideas and write them down.
Don’t do it in your mind. Writing things down physically is way more effective and doing that lets them sink in.
When you do this, you remind your mind about all the things you love about yourself. Small victories, big achievements, any highlight that you’ve had.
These things can be anything. Maybe you had the guts to stand out in a group and you ended up having everyone’s positive attention. Maybe you performed well in some kind of a test. Or maybe you received compliments that made you feel amazing.
Do you see the point? It doesn’t matter as long as it’s something that makes you feel proud. Writing these things physically reminds you effectively about things that you’re proud of and therefore boosts your confidence.
I remember, I used to have ten things like this written on my phone, so I could remind myself about them anytime.
2. Negative brainstorm
This one and the first one are very similar confidence building exercises, but they have one major difference. Instead of writing down things you like about yourself, write down ten things you hate about yourself.
What the hell is the point in this? Well, we’ll get into that.
One major part of being confident is to be secure with your own flaws. Everybody has them. Even the most successful, charismatic, and good-looking guys you know. This is why learning to accept them is crucial.
In this exercise, write down ten (or more) things you hate about yourself. When you write them, you’ll have to analyze all of them one by one, so you’ll confront them in your mind.
It’s effective because you’ll admit those things to yourself and you’re forced to deal with them. When you’re ready, take a look at the paper and see how you feel. Probably relieved when you’ve shared something like that by writing them down. It’s like self-made therapy!
It’s important to go through them, feel them, and accept them. Once you become more and more secure with the things you hate about yourself, you’ll gain confidence. If this is hard, remember that everybody has flaws. They just don’t like to share them with everyone. This leads me to the next exercise.
3. The “math of insecurities”
This is one of the less known confidence building exercises because I’ve come up with it myself. Or at least I haven’t seen anyone else talking about it.
This exercise is great for you if you have certain insecurity or a couple of them that keep lowering your confidence. It can be something negative from your past, a certain mistake that you’re ashamed of, or anything.
First, select one of your insecurities. Got it? Great! Then, get yourself an estimate of how many percent of people you know you have told about it. This doesn’t have to be super accurate, just estimate how many percent.
If this is something you want to keep secret, it’s probably something around 1-5%. This may be your closest friend, family, etc. Let’s say it’s 2%.
This means that out of 50 people that know you even distantly, only 1 knows about this. The ods for someone to know about it is 1/50. Imagine everybody else with their insecurities. If you feel like other people seem so confident, do the math and realize that you only know about 2% of the insecurities that they have.
See, everybody has some kinds of insecurities, but they just don’t make them apparent. Knowing this helps you to stay confident remembering that you’re not alone.
If this feels hard, do the math again! Seriously, there must be a lot of things you don’t know from other people because they like to keep it as private as you!
Even I have things that I hate about myself. That’s OK. If you have deep conversations with people you know, you’ll find out that they have secrets that you would never have guessed.
I’ve always felt more confident when I remember that everybody has some insecurities and I’m not alone. Here’s a quick summary: Whatever problem you have, it’s more common than you think.
4. Physiology change
This one is classic Tony Robbins wisdom. The whole idea behind it is that your mind and body are one. This means that you can use your physical body to change your mentality.
Studies have shown that if you stand up straight and put your hands on your waist, you’ll gain a boost in your testosterone and mood in just two minutes. This means that you can boost your mood and confidence by changing your physiology.
Even if you’re in a terrible mood, taking these so-called power positions will force your mind to feel better. I know, it sounds weird but it works.
Next time you’re feeling bad, see how your physiology looks like. You’re probably having a bad posture or sitting with your face down. Then try changing that.
Stand up, take a good posture, put your hands on your waist… Take any position that the king of the World could have. No matter how unnatural and weird it feels, do it.
Take a deep breath and maintain a good position for a while, and see if you’re feeling better.
It is a fact that when your mind feels good, your body will naturally be healthier. That’s why stress can cause acne and problems in fat loss etc. Obviously, this goes another way around too. When your body is doing great, your mind follows. Use this to your advantage.
5. The samurai technique
I mentioned this one in my previous post about learning to be calm and confident in stressful situations, but I’ll add it here because it’s one of the best confidence building exercises. The legend says that ancient Samurais used this technique to mentally prepare themselves for the battle.
You’re probably not going to enter a battlefield where you can get brutally killed, but you can use this technique to gain confidence for situations that you find intimidating.
The technique is fairly simple. Just pick a peaceful place where nobody disturbs you, take a deep breath, and close your eyes.
Then, visualize the scenario that you want to be more confident in. Make it as vivid as possible in your mind. Observe what you see, how you feel, how your heartbeat elevates… Anything you can.
Go through that scenario in your mind multiple times and visualize different outcomes. The good and bad ones, the worst-case scenario, everything.
By doing this, you’ve already gone through that situation multiple times and face different outcomes, so doing it in real life becomes easier. On top of that, you’ll feel more confident because you know that you can go through that situation and end up being fine, regardless of the outcome.
You can apply this anywhere. Before giving a presentation, before the first date, anything that may feel scary.
Confidence building exercises – Summary
There you have it. Five exercises to boost your confidence. My goal was to provide you exercises that work and can be done instantly. Remember that different people find different ways effective for them, so I recommend trying these out and seeing what works best.
Your need for confidence will also vary. If you have certain insecurity, try doing the third or the fifth exercise, because they’re great for that. If you want general help, try doing some of the others.
I hope you found these tips valuable. These exercises are something that you can do every there and then to get a nice buff of confidence when you need it. Feel free to ask questions if you have any. See you next time!